I had something interesting happen to me this week …
I was listening to my sister talking about how anxious she feels. I was nodding, sympathetic, and at one point, I said, “Yes, I know that feeling.”
She looked surprised and said, “You feel anxious sometimes?” She assumed that I don’t feel anxious simply because I’m in a different place financially.
We started talking, and she asked me a series of questions:
“Do you feel stressed sometimes?”
“Of course,” I told her.
“Do you feel pressure?”
“Of course,” I said again.
Our conversation went on for a while. The point I wanted to make is simple …
Negative feelings and anxiety are normal. The secret lies in how you react to these situations. Here is the formula I use …
3 Questions to Ask When Having Negative Feelings
1) Why do I feel this way?
Instead of reacting immediately, identify why you are having negative emotions.
2) Do these feelings make logical sense?
I’ve found that oftentimes, my emotions are saying one thing, but my intellectual mind is saying another thing. When I think about the situation, I’m able to pinpoint the “hot buttons” that were triggered, but they don’t make logical sense. Many times, simply making this identification helps me move past these feelings. If not, I ask question #3.
3) Can I “be” with these feelings for the next few hours?
The answer, of course, is yes. I can live with negative feelings for a few hours, even a few days. By not trying to suppress the feelings, I can get over them much faster. And by allowing myself to “be” with them for a while, I resist the temptation to take immediate action, which might be inappropriate and reactionary.
What do you think? Comment below to tell me how you deal with negative emotions.
