Keeping your secret
I used to be so ashamed.
You see, I’ve had a lot of secrets over the years:
I barely got into college because I was practically illiterate…
When I first started doing mortgages, I was broke…
I had lousy credit for a while…
And these are things I never wanted anyone to know. I felt like if people saw the real me, they would be horrified.
But that isn’t true, is it?
Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has flaws. In fact, I have learned that there is always someone more successful than I am who has struggled with the exact some problem! I don’t care whether you are an entry-level employee or the CEO of a Fortune 500 company … your problems are probably more similar than you think!
And the truth of the matter is that hiding your mistakes only compounds them. Then you have to worry about people finding out.
It makes you feel a little sick inside.
Over the years, I’ve learned that transparency is a whole lot easier. I’ve also learned that people are happy to reach out and help when I let them know I need it.
I used to bottle things inside. If I had an important decision to make, I did it in a bubble, and often I wasn’t happy with the end result. If I was ashamed, I kept it from everyone, and then I lost sleep because I was terrified that my secrets would be uncovered.
Nowadays, if I have a worry, the first step I take is to disclose my problem to one other person. I try to pick someone who: 1) won’t be unnecessarily judgmental; and 2) will be solution-oriented.
Being transparent is second-nature to me now. I don’t share every intimate detail of my life with every single person I meet, but I also don’t avoid conversations.
By getting rid of secrets, I have found that I am more likely to work toward solutions because I don’t feel alone and isolated. Instead, I feel surrounded by people who want to help. And this applies to every kind of secret—financial, personal, professional.
Do you keep things bottled up? If so, now’s your chance to open up. You can start small until your confidence builds. The important thing is that you get exposure to supportive people who will inspire you to move forward.
If you worked through a problem by getting exposure to other people’s support, tell me about it here!
Philip Tirone
